Writing 2016

Kia ora

Here is the recount I wrote  for an Asttle writing test in Week 4.  Our teacher marked all our recounts and gave us our scores. Mine came out at Level 3B which is at the end of year standard for Year Five. I got the lowest points for ideas, vocabulary and punctuation and the best scores for structure and sentences. 

We helped each other improve them by reading each other’s recount and talking about them. We also used Revision Assistant to help edit each other’s story and Mrs B added some notes as well. Everyone in our room likes Revision Assistant because it’s easy to understand the marks/ notes that it puts on your writing and so it’s quick for us to go and do the fix-ups. We have to have practically perfect grammar, punctuation and spelling in our stories before we are allowed to publish them here. I hope someone will give me some feedback.

Ka kite ano

“Yay!!” I yelled. “I can’t wait till we go to the Makana Cafe!” I shouted.

“I think this is going to be a great gift for Grandad Peter,” Mum said. Everyone started to get ready for the day then hopped in the car to leave.

When we got there we saw that Grandad Peter had arrived just after us. I got the present from in the car and gave it to him then we all said happy birthday then we went inside the Makana Cafe.

We all did a taste test to see what flavoured gelato we would like to eat. The flavours that I got were salted caramel and cookies and cream in a small cup. It was delicious. The others had some gelato in a small cup too. We were all having a chat for awhile then we finished our food. Then Grandad Peter opened up his present and said thank you.

After Grandad Peter finished opening his present we all got in our cars and left. When we got home we relaxed. “That was a really fun day, Mum so thank you,” I said.

“ You’re welcome and I thought it was fun too,” Mum replied.

The end